Meanwhile, I read something that focused my mind in a new way. I read a book by David Foster Wallace, This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life. This book was short, so I read it at the bookstore where I found it. I didn't buy the book, instead choosing to try the author's Infinite Jest. Wish me luck. IJ is a weighty tome, comparable in size to War and Peace.
Wallace writes that people automatically think on a self-centered level most of the time, living in the center of their worlds, with the perspective that they are surrounded by bandits trying to ruin their days. An example he could have used comes from George Carlin: I drive down the road in my car, mad at the driver in front of me for driving to slowly, and equally mad at the driver behind me who seems to be driving too quickly. Wallace wants us to leave this kind of perspective and see the other people around us, to see the pain in other people's lives, which I say we can easily infer by remembering the details of our own lives. Wallace plays with cliches in this book, including using the phrase "teach you how to think" to explain how going to college, or simply living in the world of humanity, can change the subjects of your thoughts, and the ways you think about them. Compassion comes when you see that every person has pain, when you are changed by the knowledge of that pain. Compassion can change you, and what you do with your life. Other writers who are called to my mind right now are Descartes, who couldn't tell if the people outside his window were real or merely automata, and Mary Pipher, who has written powerful stories about refugees (see The Middle of Everywhere).
Around the same time, I noticed that after a week of Brad and me together at home working with the girls on household chores, the girls seem happier when they have work they have to do every day. Instead of being happier when they have few chores and plenty of time for open play, the children seem happier or more satisfied when they have to do chores and help their parents with work--even if the task is unwelcome to them, like putting dishes away or sweeping the floor. Obviously they like to do things with their parents rather than without them--kids would probably enjoy doing just about anything if they could do it with their mother or father. In addition, though, they respond well to having work they have to do; it seems to make them feel less bored, more satisfied.
Do compassion and work fit together somehow? Stay tuned.
